My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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