you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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