we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
