oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
