During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
