Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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