tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
