its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize