I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
