you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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