i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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