He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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