when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize