I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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