If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
