come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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