I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers