Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!