I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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