just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I smell like Dick and happiness
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
