My room smells like vodka and shame
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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