We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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