ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
