I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish there were birth control emojis
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
