dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
