Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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