There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
