Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
