I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
