Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
