Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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