btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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