That's when you crack a 10am beer
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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