pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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