Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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