thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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