I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's Friday. Sex?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
