Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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