weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
