So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
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For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dear god my vagina.
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