Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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