remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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