tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I understand Curling. That high.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
