just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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