How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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