I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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