it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
