I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
