so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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