I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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