I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
