Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
