so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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