If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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