Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize