Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
