it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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