I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
