Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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