I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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