I'm sorry my penis didn't work
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
