Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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