So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
