you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
