I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
