someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
