I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
