Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
