theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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